Category Archives: Certified Stupid

Utah Police Monitor Party To Prevent Dancing Of Any Kind


“This is footloose, this is real life footloose,” said Jared Keddington, one of the party organizers for the annual event, The Monster Mash. The event is supposed to be a large outdoor dance party, where college students engage in socially responsible activities. This year, Jared and the group of party organizers he works with, Heart of Dixie, thought it would be fun to bring their dance party to St George, Utah. They soon found out that having fun is not what St George is about.

Just three days before the event was to take place, Jared was informed that he needed to have a special permit if he wanted to throw a large scale dance party. Jared said that the process was too complicated, it was just a Monster Mash, after all.

Jared applied for the permit three days before the event, and an hour into the event, he was informed that his application hadn’t been approved. The reason wasn’t that city officials in St George hated dance parties that they weren’t invited to, it was because as per the policy, city council needs to approve any dance party permit. That being said, city council didn’t meet during the time Jared applied for his permit, making it impossible for them to approve it.

So, at his party, Jared was informed that if there was dancing of any kind, even if random acts of dancing turned his party into a dance party, he would face felony charges of inciting a riot.

What a buzzkill.

Rightfully, Jared Keddington was a little pissed off that after spending countless hours planning the event, and spending thousands of dollars in advertising and promotion, he threw, what was probably one of the worst parties to ever come to St George, Utah. Police were on scene monitoring the event to make sure no dancing took place.

City spokesman Marc Mortensen defended the permit process by stating, “Via the power of social media, who knows how many could have showed up and would that have overburdened that particular neighborhood and could it have potentially created problems…That’s what we try and avoid.”

In short: They did not do The Mash. They did not do The Monster Mash.

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